


Can I Even Complicate Your Breathing?

by botanistlester (Skeletonflowers)



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Pastels, Phan - Freeform, Phanfiction, Punk, pastel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-02
Updated: 2015-09-02
Packaged: 2018-04-18 16:49:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,943
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4713245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skeletonflowers/pseuds/botanistlester
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Pastel!Dan lives in an apartment complex and sits on his windowsill every night and sings. Punk!Phil listens to him every night.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Can I Even Complicate Your Breathing?

There is a boy who lives across the street from Phil who has brown hair the colour of chocolate, the voice of an angel, and eyes that reflect a million stars. Phil doesn't know when it first started, but he slowly began to drift to his slightly cracked window every night just to hear the boy sing.

He always sat upon his windowsill, picking at the lint on his pastel jumpers while his lips uttered beautiful melodies that put Vic Fuentes to shame. And Phil didn't even know the boy's name, or what he liked to do in his spare time, but he could slowly start to feel himself falling for the boy.

It was idiotic in a way. Phil had never met this brunette beauty before. He never heard his voice besides when he sang in the hours of the night, he never seen him in broad daylight, and he certainly didn’t know a single thing about him. And yet, Phil was in love with a voice and a boy who didn't even know he existed.

These were the thoughts that haunted him at night, cracking his window open just a sliver before crawling to his bed to browse through Tumblr. He was somewhat embarrassed by how obsessed he had become, but the moment that Phil heard the first few cords of a Pierce the Veil song come from the apartment complex opposite his, Phil's worries floated away and he leaned back to allow the pretty lyrics into his eardrums to embed in his memory.

"She sits up high, surrounded by the sun.  
One million branches and she loves every one.  
Mom and dad, did you search for me?  
I've been up here so long I'm going crazy."

These were the words he fell asleep to, imagining pretty boys with brown hair and coffee eyes singing to him like a personal lullaby.

He was only awoken by the sound of his alarm clock, reverberating through his skull like a terrible headache. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes, reaching beside him to grab his black glasses and perching them upon his nose, blinking as the world suddenly became clearer. He pushed his blue fringe out of his face, yawning as he stood up and stretched a little, his bare chest expanding and showing the various tattoos decorating his torso, arms, and neck.

There was a noise coming from next door and Phil was slightly confused because it sounded like a squeak, followed by the slamming of a door or window. He cast a quizzical glance to the beautiful brunette’s window, frowning when he saw the blinds drawn, but he shrugged and decided to get ready for a long day at school.

Phil decided to just go for a casual look: black skinny jeans, a plain black shirt, leather jacket, and his favourite combat boots that made his legs look outstanding. Black was always the colour that made his blue eyes and hair pop out while still making him look like a badass.

"Looking like you're ready to murder someone as usual," Phil's mum laughed when he walked down the stairs, his boots clumping against the wooden flooring. She handed him a paper plate with two pieces of cinnamon toast and a banana on it, giving him a quick kiss on the forehead despite the fact that she had to get on her tippy toes just to reach.

"Can't leave the house without looking like I'm about to go to a funeral," Phil joked, taking the toast from her and stuffing a bite in his mouth. "I'd better get going though, I'm meeting up with Chris before school."

His mum bid him farewell, wishing him a good day at his first day of the school year. He was finally a year thirteen and there was nothing more he was ready for than to get the hell out of school and actually start his life doing things he truly cared about.

"Hey, Phil!" Chris greeted with a grin when he arrived at the school. Phil's lips automatically turned up into a smile at the sight of his best friend, relieved to be back in his little friendship group after a long summer.

"Hey!" Phil replied, taking his backpack off to shove it fervishly into his locker. "Where's Peej?"

Chris shrugged, a smirk on his face. "He texted me last night saying he was flirting it up with a pretty boy. So I assume he's not let up yet."

Phil shook his head, pursing his lips. He couldn't help but feel slightly exasperated at his other friend. It wasn't the first time PJ had ditched the pair so he could bang some cute little twink, and Phil was honestly getting tired of it. Not to mention how bad he felt for those poor boys who got the wrath of PJ in the first place.

But as soon as the annoyed feeling wore off, they heard the tinkling of PJ's laugh down the hall and turned to see him winking at a very small boy wearing a flower crown that was hiding his face with a pawed hand.

Phil did a double take, straining his eyes to look closer at the boy, but failing when the brunette turned away and sauntered down the hall, face staring at the ground. He was wearing a pastel pink sweater and white skinny jeans with a white flower crown, and God, where had Phil seen him before?

He didn't have time to dwell on it, though, as Peej approached, giving them a cheeky smile. "Day one of school and already rolling in the bitches!" He jokes, emitting a laugh from Chris and an uncomfortable chuckle from Phil.

"So who's the new meat?" Chris asked suggestively, wiggling his eyebrows while Phil waffled uncomfortably beside him.

"Ah, that's Dan," PJ answered, shrugging with an air of nonchalance surrounding him. "Just transferred here after being homeschooled his entire life. Pretty adorable, if you ask me, and a total virgin. I'm thinking about taking him down to Oscar's Hotel in a few days to see if I could get him to relax a bit if you know what I mean."

Phil shuddered internally at the implication, already feeling a tinge of disgust at how Peej only truly cared about banging cute boys. He wondered briefly why he was still friends with PJ if he was always bitching about him before reminding himself that Peej was actually an amazing guy with a fantastic sense of humor. It's always been just the three of them, ever since Primary School.

The Thrilling Threesome will prevail no matter what.

-

It's been a month since school started, and the boy next door had stopped coming out to sing on his windowsill.

Phil frowned at the window parallel to his, his eyes taking in the colour of the drawn curtain and how it was such an ugly shade of yellow that it nearly burned his retinas. He let out a sigh, leaning back in his chair whilst trying to focus on studying for his upcoming history test; but the only thing on his mind was how it's been two weeks since those curtains had opened and Phil was almost to the point of depression because of it.

There was about an hour before he had to start getting ready for school and these thoughts had kept him up, so he had tried to distract himself with a little bit of schoolwork but it seemed as if he was past the point of salvation. At this rate, he was definitely going to deteriorate into a pool of muddled emotions and confusion.

Why had the boy not come to sing? Did something happen to him?

With a growl, Phil threw his pencil to the desk and slapped himself on the forehead several times. Who even cared about random boys next door, anyways? Phil had never met him before, so it's not like he mattered, right? And besides, the boy definitely knew nothing of Phil's existence anyways.

An incoming text alerted Phil's attention to his phone, the background lit up with the warning. With wary fingers, he picked it up.

From: Chris!  
Sent: 5:27 am  
Peej is in a bad mood today. Got in a fight with his cutie bc dan didnt want to get down and dirty. Be safe xoxo ;)

Phil let out a loud groan and typed an affirmative back, his lips clenched tight into a grimace. He really didn't need to put up with PJ's bullshit today, especially if it was something so trivial as the fact that his boytoy doesn't want to have sex with him. And because of that, Peej is going to be a royal pain all week. Fantastic.

He ended up arriving to school before anyone in his small friend group did, his black Dr Martens making dull, thudding noises on the linoleum. It was half seven right now and school started in another forty minutes, but staying in his room and sulking after having such a bad night wasn't particularly doing anything for his mood.

His feet ended up taking him to the library, where he snuck in as quietly as he could. The school library had this weird policy where you had to sign in to be able to use it, so he jotted his name on the specified paper before making his way to a random section.

As easily as that, his irritation began to dissipate when he grabbed a random book from the shelf. He didn't usually look at which novel he chose before he read it, just so that he couldn't judge it before he finished.

The book was called Almost Perfect, and ended up being about a guy who fell in love with a transgender female named Sage, and Phil find himself whole-heartedly enjoying it. It made him relax, his shoulders beginning to stop being so rigid, and his teeth stop their gritting.

The next moment he knew, Phil was being awoken by a loud squeak and then a large thump. He jumped awake, his bones nearly flying out of his skin as he searched for the culprit.

His eyes landed upon a brunette wearing a light blue jumper, a stack of books scattered on the floor in front of him.

But isn't this PJ's boyfriend?

Phil had never actually met Dan before, only saw the back of his head and the fringe covering his face. Phil was actually kind of excited that he would finally meet the boy of Peej's affections. So excited, in fact, that he immediately jumped up to help.

"Everything okay?" Phil asked cautiously, looking down at the smaller male as he shuffled to quickly gather his belongings.

Dan looked up then, revealing large brown (and slightly startled) eyes, a dimple in one of his cheeks, and holy shit, Dan was Phil's next door neighbor.

Phil's mouth fell agape and Dan dropped his books again at the sight of Phil, letting out a loud apology as one fell onto Phil's toe. Phil hardly noticed though, his heart pounding in his chest because the boy from the windowsill was right in front of him, only an arm's length away, and he was so beautiful that Phil could feel his brain turn to mush.

Dan stood up then, his books gathered in his hands, and he looked down at Phil through thick eyelashes, now slightly taller at his full height. And wow, was he the most gorgeous person Phil had ever seen. "Thanks for making sure I was alright," he said quietly, a faint blush on his cheeks.

"Anytime," Phil breathed, running a hand through his hair. His hands were trembling so he took a deep breath to calm himself. "You're PJ's boyfriend, right?"

Dan grimaced at the mention of his name, a gesture that made Phil blink in confusion before remembering that they were currently fighting. "Ah- yeah, I am." He brushed his fringe to the side with a pale hand, eyes downcast. "And you're his friend?"

"Yeah, friends since forever. I'm Phil Lester."

"Phil Lester," Dan repeated, finally meeting Phil's eyes and making him shiver with the twist of Phil's name on his tongue. He opened his mouth to say more, but the shrill of the bell cut him off, making Dan flinch.

Phil found it absolutely adorable how awkward he was. "See you around?" Phil asked, hoping that he didn't sound too much like a stalker.

Dan nodded, giving him a dimpled smile before turning around and retreating to the crowded halls.

Phil would cherish Dan more than Peej ever would, if only he had the chance.

-

Phil hadn't seen the object of his (creepy) obsession since then. The shades on Dan's windows were always drawn, and even though PJ and the brunette were still technically together, Phil hadn't seen the two of them together despite the fact that it had been a month since then.

He tried not to let it get to him, the fact that Dan has been a recluse for so long now, but it was admittedly a bit hard to fall asleep without his voice lulling Phil into the land of dreams. Instead, he had to turn on his radio in order for him to fall asleep, but the grunge singing of Citizen was definitely not as soothing as Dan's voice was.

And even though he was almost a hundred percent sure Dan wouldn't come out tonight or anytime soon, he left his window open a smudge just in case, his radio turned just so loud that he would still be able to hear if Dan had decided to sing.

"I ran away from you, now look how far I’ve got.  
I shared some secrets that I hope you’d keep,  
They’re words that don’t come out.  
And I should’ve crashed the car the night I drove alone.

Escape from August cold."

Through Phil's thick haze of sleep, he could have sworn there was a quieter, sweeter voice singing along. But he fell asleep before he could be certain.

The harsh tone of screaming woke Phil up from his black abyss of dreamless sleep, his head pounding with the sudden awakening. He squinted his eyes in the emerging light from outside, his vision blurred from the lack of contacts or glasses. He could faintly hear the vibrations of Dan’s voice through the glass from his window, but that was only because he was screaming obscenities so loud that it nearly broke Phil’s eardrums with the force.

“Don’t fucking touch me, PJ!” Dan screamed, and there was a moment of silence where Phil imagined that PJ had replied. Phil blinked when he finally realized the actions taking part next door, his fingers outstretching to put his glasses on as he sat up. The clock read 5:28am.

What the fuck was Peej doing at Dan’s house this early in the morning?

"Just get the fuck out," Dan eventually yelled, followed by the sound of a slamming door. "Don't ever fucking talk to me again, you bigoted asshole."

Phil peeked out of the window curtain slightly, just enough that Dan wouldn't be able to notice his gaping. He saw Dan standing in the middle of his room, his pyjama bottoms hanging loosely off of his hips and his smooth skin of his torso exposed. His hands were in fists by his sides and his face was streaked with tears. After only a few moments of standing there, he eventually made his way over to the window as if he was having trouble walking, and then collapsed onto the sill.

Shaky fingers reached up to cover his face, pressing into his eyes as loud sobs racked his body, disappearing into the morning dew.

And the only thing that Phil could do was to sit behind the glass of his own window and watch as the boy withered away, his inner light crumbling to ashes with each teardrop that dribbled down his chin. Phil never hated PJ more than he hated him now for making Dan, beautiful Dan, sob at five in the morning on his window pane.

Thirty minutes passed before Dan finally got up from where he was perched, his sobs reduced to light hiccups. He didn't seem to notice the presence of Phil behind the glass, didn't seem to realize how Phil had kept him company this whole time. But they eventually had to get ready for school, so Phil waited until Dan was out of sight before snatching a sheet of paper out of his desk and grabbing a blue biro.

In a messy scrawl, he wrote, "I hope you know that you have an entire galaxy hidden within your mind. You are one of the most gorgeous person I have ever set my eyes on, and it's such a shame to see you cry. But just know that you're never alone, and that I'm just a windowsill away when things get hard. Xoxo."

He debated signing it before deciding against it when he saw the time and how he was definitely going to have to attend school without a shower. Making sure Dan was completely out of sight, he slid open his window and prodded the note under the small opening in Dan's window, smiling as he watched it float to the ground, residing in the middle of Dan's carpet.

That day, he watched for Dan throughout the halls. But no matter how hard he looked, he saw no sight of the mop of brown hair and his pretty coffee eyes.

Phil tried not to let himself get too disappointed, but all of his disappointment faded when he clomped through his bedroom, pausing at the door when he noticed a scrap of computer paper on the desk by his window.

His heart stopped in his chest and he scrambled towards it like it was his lifeline, picking it up with shaking fingertips. The handwriting was messy, with random capital letters, and cute curls on some of the letters. His face was burning red.

'Your note made my crappy day just a little bit brighter. Thank you so much, from the bottom of my heart. You are a wonderful person, and I hope you never change that about yourself. Much love, Dan xoxo.'

He felt his insides clench and he tried not to do one of those cliché squeals where he held the paper to his chest and smiled up at the ceiling, but it was proving rather hard to hide those exact emotions. He glanced over at Dan's window just in time to see the window curtain fall over the glass, hiding Dan from the world. And from Phil.

Phil sighed but the smile hadn't dispersed from his face. He wondered how he had gotten to be so ridiculously smitten. But obviously, Dan was quite beautiful so he didn't particularly need a reason.

All he knew was that he was going to steal Dan right out from PJ's nose (even though PJ and Dan had just broken up, but oh well).

He bit his lip, feeling a twinge of guilt at the thought of dating his best friend's ex. So with great hesitance, he grabbed his phone and typed out a text message.

Phil: help me ive fallen in love with peej's ex what do i do

Not even two minutes later, the reply vibrated his phone.

Chris: who? dan? Go for it bro. Do you really think peej would care?

Phil: tru he doesnt rly care about anything

Chris: except sex. He really likes booty

Phil snorted at his best friend's answer but agreed with it anyways. He loved PJ, but sometimes he was a bit too much.

-

Phil left his window open that night, as he normally did. He was currently in the midst of taking off his clothing, being used to sleeping in only a pair of boxers at night. He looked at his tattoos and smiled, thinking about which one he would get next. Maybe a collarbone tattoo?

That's when he heard it.

The slide of a window, a bit of shuffling. And then a beautiful melody that made Phil's cheeks flush an ugly shade of red, his throat closing up as he listened to the voice that he hadn't heard in God knows how long.

Dan was singing again.

"Here in this world I’m awaked with mistakes  
But it's love that keeps fueling me  
Fueling me  
Pretty little lady with the swollen eyes  
Would you show them to me?  
I know I’m not that perfect  
But you stay awhile  
Baby, then you will see  
Miles away I can still feel you  
Lay your head down on my embrace."

Phil refused to admit that there were tears in his eyes, leaning back against his wall as he let the sound of Dan's voice reverberate through his ears. It was like he was under a spell, halted in his tracks and unable to do anything but listen. He had no complaints about it.

When Dan finished, the last syllable rang through the air like a bell. And Phil couldn't help himself.

He clapped. Clapped so loudly that Dan let out a squeak and fell backwards into his room, sprawling on the floor.

"Sorry!" Phil chuckled apologetically, reaching his window and raising it so he could lean out of it. He came face-to-face with a flushed Dan, hair curly upon his forehead. "I just haven't heard your singing in so long. I've missed it."

Dan's eyes widened and his cheeks were the same colour as the pastel pink jumper he was wearing. "You listen to my singing?" His voice cracked from surprise. Phil tried not to let out any embarrassing squeals.

"It's the most beautiful singing on the planet, how could I not listen?" Phil didn't really care that he was probably being extremely cringey right now. He was talking to the boy of his affection and he'll be damned if he messed it up.

Dan leaned out of the window a bit, his eyes flicking from Phil's eyes to the tattoos on his arms, chest, and neck. Dan's face became a deeper shade of red when he realized he was staring. He opened his mouth, about to say something, but nothing came out. So he cleared his throat and tried again. "Do you want to come over maybe?"

Phil blinked in surprise. Dan wants him to come over there? "Why?" He cringed and immediately corrected himself, "Sorry, I meant that I would love to." He surveyed the window opposite of him, noticing how it was only a few feet away from him. He could definitely just slip through there from his own window. Gingerly, he sat on his windowsill before practically leaping into Dan's landing on the carpeted flooring with a soft thud and a giggle.

Dan smiled down at him, a dimple appearing in his left cheek. "Hey," he giggled.

And Phil decided he couldn't hold it back anymore. Dan was perfect and he wanted nothing more than for the boy to understand how much he thought of him. "I like you a lot," Phil confessed.

Dan's expression didn't change, his smile still glued to his face. "I know. I like you as well." He leaned forward and pressed his lips to Phil's cheek. "But for now, I'd like to get to know you better."

Phil's cheek was burning with the touch of Dan's lips against his skin. "Anything for you," he murmured with a smile.

He didn't understand how a single person could make his lungs constrict with longing and adoration, but he knew that he would never give this feeling up for anything.


End file.
